New Year’s Resolutions Bite Dust on December 30
New Year’s resolutions…am I the only one cringing and feeling besieged by the bombardment of buzz right now about New Year’s goals and resolutions? Methinks not.
Call me a “Bah-Humbug” kind of gal, but honestly I think New Year’s resolutions are an overblown contrivance. Which is NOT to say that contrivances aren’t useful and necessary at times; for they most certainly can help us get unstuck or over a seeming obstacle. They can and do offer us a way to begin anew. And I have many a time looked for a contrivance that would work, what’s not to like about that?
But I digress…..My point really is that New Years resolutions are a contrivance. After all, every day IS the first day of the rest of your life. And if we lived with that awareness in the forefront of our consciousness every day, how different would our lives be? How different would my life be? Actually living with that awareness alone would wipe out most of my experience of regret (well, okay, there’d still be mistakes which are a great trigger for regret but at least we wouldn’t be regretting all the things we still haven’t done).
As Yoda says, “there is no try, there is only do or not do.”
The question for those of us who are not goal-driven such as yours truly (and yes, it’s okay, there are many of us who are not motivated by goals…..) is “What allows us to do?”
This is the other thing that bugs me about New Year’s resolutions - they do not acknowledge the organicity of how life unfolds. Take-away #1.
At least for this one, beneath my rational, high-achiever, over-educated mind, there is in fact an organicity to how life unfolds which often defies goals and resolutions, and which in retrospect, I can see is in tune with the soul lessons I am here to learn. I observe this to be true as well for others who entrust me with witnessing their journeys.
I find following the organicity requires a keen listening to the inner voice, which can be hard to discern if there’s a lot of inner and/or outer noise. [Yep, that’s another good reason to have some kind of meditation practice; hmmm, another resolution I haven’t yet sustained but as I write this, I can sense a new motivation and purpose, even attraction, to meditating]
Doing ultimately grows out of the ability to listen to that low-pitched internal humming, quietly but steadily, just waiting for us to recognize when it’s time for that background thrumming to become a compelling drumbeat that we can no longer resist. Then, it’s as if we wake up one day and boom! We’re motivated to take a new action.
As much as I don’t love setting goals, I do love holding intentions.
Take-away #2: Intentions really do it for me because I find them to be much more resonant with the organic rhythm of life, and easy on the conscience to boot. Because we never know long an intention can take to manifest, there’s less potential for guilt. Note, I say less potential. For those of us who have a strong inner Judge, we can most certainly also judge ourselves for how long it can take an intention to manifest (this is when I get to hear the “what’s wrong with you that you can’t figure this out?” endless loop tape).
Take-away #3: Judgment only gets in the way of fulfilling intentions.
But when we invest intentions with positive attention and energy, then synchronicities occur. You know, those apparent coincidences that support a sense of forward movement. I love the fact that there’s actually a part of the brain – the Reticular Activating System – that selects information from our environment based on what we’re telling ourselves is important. That’s why affirmations are so cool – they provide a different endless loop tape in our heads that feed intention rather than the negative self-talk that derails us.
So as I cross the threshold into 2009, I am going to go with intentions, listening to the inner voice, and paying attention to and truly honoring what’s resonant for me (not just giving it lip service).
And what’s my main intention? To let go of judgment. For many years, I’ve worked on letting go of my judgment of others (and I ain’t perfect no-way); now it’s time to focus on me, letting go of my judgments on me.
What’s the biggie I’ve been noticing? “Why is it taking so damn long to become all of who I am? See, that proves it, you’re a FAILURE” (Wait, wait, don’t I always tell my clients “that’s why you’re given a lifetime?”<blushing>)
And in addition to listening to and for the inner humming, I am going to practice hearing the inner chimes, those early warning signs that signal something is awry, not feeling right, not in alignment. I know the times I’ve not paid attention to those inner chimes have brought some painful lessons.
Intending…I think this flow can carry me into 2009. This is where I wish to apply my resolve for there are results awaiting just around the corner. (HAH, I know, you were thinking, she’s missing something here – what about RESULTS?)
Envision result, intend, listen for humming and chimes, resonate, attend to, release mistake if necessary, learn, refocus intention, breathe, stay in the flow, don’t push the river…..2009 here I come.
(Whew, this ended up being much longer than I intendedL, but sometimes you’ve got to sift through the sand to find the gold nuggets).
How do you begin anew?
Tags: affirmations, beginnings, goals, guilt, Intention, judgment, RAS, resonance, results, synchronicity
December 30th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Great Job! … I’m so proud of you …
December 30th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Manya, hooray for your first blog post–what a lovely way to chime in the new year!
Yes, I’m an intentions gal too. I like the way intentions open the door to all possibilities, from the foreseeable and rational to the wildly unlikely. Gives the universe room to play in your sandbox.
May your intentions carry your right people to your blog. And may your light shine brightly in 2009!
Love and hugs to you,
Hiro
December 30th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Woo-hoo! Welcome to the world of blogging, Manya. And I’m not much for resolutions either.
However, a good bit of heart-centered goal-planning never hurt anyone…
December 30th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Manya, so happy to get to read another post from you. Your newsletter just isn’t enough!
I’ve been playing with this idea for a while now. And over the last several months, I’ve really switched to setting intentions (which have to do with how I want to feel or how I want to be, the purpose behind the thing) to help me figure out my long- and short-term projects and tasks.
I hope that you have an intention to share with us more here on your blog!
December 30th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Mark, yes, must sneak some heart-centered goal- planning in to get to concrete manifestation….
Hiro and Elizabeth, to friendship and sisterhood in bringing intentional light into the world
Shannon - you have clearly been getting results from the shift, a great testimonial to the power of intention. I’ve noticed that intention operated powerfully for me early in my life, and that interestingly, as I got involved in corporate work and focus on results, I started to lose sight of that, so it’s great to remember and reconnect with the power of intention
December 30th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Hi Manya,
What a pleasure to be reading someone with such a wealth of knowledge as well as a demonstration of sharing vulnerability, human innocence.
I am walking the razors edge of intention and being free of intention, letting what comes be the intention. Not succeeding much of the time and yet this feels truest for me.
looking forward to more…
December 31st, 2008 at 9:26 am
Whee! Fun to see you posting here!
I love it. And yeah, intentions have all the powers of resolutions without the added layers of guilt and “shoulds”.
Beautifully said. Can’t wait to read more!
December 31st, 2008 at 9:37 am
This is so right on…I love seeing this message more and more.. resolution vs (or maybe not really vs.) intention. We can reinvent ourselves at any time.. our cells regenerate continuously.. we are whole new people at any given moment. But while the idea of an agreed-upon starting point has some power, I think we give up if we don’t follow through linearly. (Hmm, I think I shall have to write a blog post about this..)
I also like that you wrote about the reticular activating system..I think this is what I was getting at without knowing what it was called in my post about Law of Attraction…
December 31st, 2008 at 10:32 am
So, so true! I’ve said (way too many times by now) that the best New Year’s resolution I ever made was to never make another one.
I hope it’s okay to post a link to an article by a friend and business partner, Jon Hansen, that speaks very clearly about this whole process of setting intentions.
http://www.therememberingroom.com/archives/articles/2008-12-30_if_not_now.html
December 31st, 2008 at 10:57 am
Hi Manya:
Fantastic way to start your blog. Congratulations! I see that your blog ‘theme’ involves the business of healthcare. Would love to see you post on exactly what that entails. Thinking of a collaboration between the 2 of us… What’s the best way to get in touch with you?
Look forward to reading more from you.
**found you via Twitter post from @havi
December 31st, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Kat - ah yes, the razor’s edge dance between being active and receptive
Gina- accountability for results does seem to require some linearity, even for those of us who function innately in spirals
Amanda - check out the rest of the site and thanks for your interest
January 1st, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Manya…so good to see your blog! I enjoyed it immensely. My resolution and intention is to pickup where we left off last year in our discussions on initiatives.
Regards,
Ron
January 6th, 2009 at 9:24 am
I like the term “organicity”. It captures the sense of flow that I have come to appreciate about how life can unfold (when I allow it).
Nice writing style, I enjoyed very much.
One small suggestion - on my monitor the green background you chose makes it hard to read. Also the hyperlinked words disappear. May I suggest something with more contrast and that is easy on the eyes?
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June 14th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Kelly and Jane - thanks for your comments! Yes, all posts are copyright protected, but you may reproduce them with attribution and please include my web site link.
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